The city line over the coast is shimmering as lava when it just spawns from the volcano and yes today there are also 'eruptions' over this lava just to make it more beautiful. I turn back to go and sit in the train which has arrived on Platform No. 7. Carrying my bag load, I go and sit inside the 2nd Class compartment. An old couple comes and sit across the aisle. They start talking, I cannot help it but overhear the conversation, the streets are lit bright on this night. The lady has two rolled newspaper packages in her hand, She is talking to him "We will eat them when we reach home". He replies"Its Ok! Lets have them now", in the background you hear amalgamation of noises from the swooshes, creeks, rattlings of the arriving and leaving trains, mixed with are the sounds of fireworks.She insists "We will have them at home when we have water to down it", he is adamant "Its ok, lets have them, we'll get some water from the next station". We all swing side to side as the train chuckles on the track. She hesitantly does some shifting between the packages and hands one package over to the old man. He puts effort into his vision, I see the wrinkles on the corners of his eyes growing deeper, he bends his neck for further focus & unfolds the crumbled newspaper of the package. More crackers burst, He looks up at her and says "Why did you give me the samosa, have it, its good!". She turns around on her waist taking her arms away while still looking at him and says "No! you have it..." He bends down his neck again , slouches over to start eating. The women smiles a little and starts eating too. I sit there to watch all this happen with a quarter filled bottle of water in my hand.The man starts to eat the bun, samosa and vada hastily. The women is eating in all her calmness. The man starts hiccuping, but tries to hide it. White Breads combined with a fried food have a tendency to dry out and become a bolus, that when the stomach goes into involuntary contractions, with the help of the diaphragm to throw the food back into the mouth for further chewing and breakdown of the food particles so that the stomach is able to mix the digestive juices well into the food; but throwing the food back is not allowed by the upper sphincter of the stomach thus causing the hiccup.He looks around while still hiding his hiccups from his wife, as she offered him not to eat at this time, as they didn't have water. I look at him, he looks at me. I raise my arms with bottle of water in my hand and nod my head. He smiles and wiggles his head sideways. I insist, he takes it, takes a sip; gives it to his wife. Their eyes meet and they smile, she has finished her food , she takes a small sip, which in no way would've quenched her thirst; hands back the bottle to him, their eyes meet for a second and they smile again. He finishes his snack and drinks a small sip to return back the bottle to her. Someone in the crowd greets another "Happy Diwali", "Same to you" is the reply.The women keeps the bottle in her handbag without taking another sip. The man asks for the bottle again; takes a couple of sips and gives the bottle back to her. She puts it back in her bag, they smile at each other once again.Right now, I feel bitter-sweet. Bitter - I don't have that 'someone' to share something with. Sweet - At least someone has a someone special to share his 250 ml of love with, Sip-by-Sip. And moreover, its been a lifetime......
Monday, February 2, 2009
Thursday, December 25, 2008
You wanna ride wid me!!
You feel his breath on the back of your neck, his sweaty body rubs on yours. You smell his body, the strong smell of garlic hits you like a bullet in the head. They are all around you, hogging as they unintentionally, unknowingly hug you. The lack of oxygen makes it all the more better. The loud noises they make just adds to the effect of this intense situation.
Sounds like an intense love making scene going for an Oscar breakthrough, but not!! The Mumbai local train it is.
Everyday, you share your walking ground with a million or more commuters on these trains. This city has moderate temperature which becomes hot due to the pollution, smoke and yes, the Infra Red rays from the other human bodies. Especially when they are in your close proximity intruding your personal space unintentionally, unknowingly. When two sources, which dissipate heat are put close together, the heat is transferred by the virtue of conduction. In this particular case, when your metabolism is high; it can turn you into a furnace, which profusely bleeds out sweat.
Everyday, you stand on the platform with a million other people trying to 'catch' a train. Catch being the operative word, as it is a difficult task. The corporate executive who eats his food exclusively with a fork and a knife and makes sure he doesn't leave a single morsel of food on his plate; turns into a monster when he reaches the platform. A student who is an obedient disciple and a somber child becomes a POW escaping a death camp.
Recipe for Stuffed Tomatoes:
Take a tomato, cut the top and clean the inside. Finely chop some onions, carrots, green chillies; saute the these vegetables till the onions are golden brown, let this mixture rest. Mash some boiled potatoes, add salt, chili powder & oregano to taste, mix with saute vegetables. Stuff the entire mixture inside the tomato. Garnish with fresh mint. Take two of these, lay them horizontally so that there bottoms touch. Now put 14 of these pairs in a line. Blame it on the population and the urgency, every and any train looks similar to the picture explained above.
Everyday, you wrestle with a million other commuters on the platform to have a 'foot hold' on the train. The fight doesn't stop there but becomes tougher once you are inside. Caught up between two giant waves of flowing homo sapiens, you do get drifted a little; a lot. Moving through these 'rough waters' you might see yourself hanging onto a post & out of the train. With a constant 'push-pull' you do squeeze yourself back inside, like last ounce of stuffing going inside a turkey. Hand and forearm muscles are constantly active holding onto the support clips, more like bats hanging upside down on a tree but no wings, if you slip; its a kill!!
Everyday, you have guy sticking his weirdly aromatic head into your nose and sometimes even rubbing it on your clothes, unknowingly- unintentionally, for once you forget all your problems & wonder how clean the guy is who standing next to you and what disease he might have. Like it or not 20% of the people are like pink flamingos, doing the one leg stance, 10% of the people are like Michelangelo's Adam, hanging with there arm in one direction and their body in the other, trying to avoid sights & smells. The rest 70% just occupy there space in the universe, and in the train, as biscuits closely packed inside a packet. For all the sights, smells and sounds, I keep telling myself, "We are just men and men is what we are". You finish the journey of travelling inside a hot case and here comes a big wave again: for the weak and first timers be ready to lose your spectacles, pens & any other loosely hanging appendages. The scene looks like a wild stampede and it is. You normally see one or two people toppling over, while no one assists them up but jumps them. After the quick tackles and dodges you reach ground zero again, to start walking, yet again, with a million other people.
This is the 2nd Class train commute! This is Bombay! This is not for the weak!
Sounds like an intense love making scene going for an Oscar breakthrough, but not!! The Mumbai local train it is.
Everyday, you share your walking ground with a million or more commuters on these trains. This city has moderate temperature which becomes hot due to the pollution, smoke and yes, the Infra Red rays from the other human bodies. Especially when they are in your close proximity intruding your personal space unintentionally, unknowingly. When two sources, which dissipate heat are put close together, the heat is transferred by the virtue of conduction. In this particular case, when your metabolism is high; it can turn you into a furnace, which profusely bleeds out sweat.
Everyday, you stand on the platform with a million other people trying to 'catch' a train. Catch being the operative word, as it is a difficult task. The corporate executive who eats his food exclusively with a fork and a knife and makes sure he doesn't leave a single morsel of food on his plate; turns into a monster when he reaches the platform. A student who is an obedient disciple and a somber child becomes a POW escaping a death camp.
Recipe for Stuffed Tomatoes:
Take a tomato, cut the top and clean the inside. Finely chop some onions, carrots, green chillies; saute the these vegetables till the onions are golden brown, let this mixture rest. Mash some boiled potatoes, add salt, chili powder & oregano to taste, mix with saute vegetables. Stuff the entire mixture inside the tomato. Garnish with fresh mint. Take two of these, lay them horizontally so that there bottoms touch. Now put 14 of these pairs in a line. Blame it on the population and the urgency, every and any train looks similar to the picture explained above.
Everyday, you wrestle with a million other commuters on the platform to have a 'foot hold' on the train. The fight doesn't stop there but becomes tougher once you are inside. Caught up between two giant waves of flowing homo sapiens, you do get drifted a little; a lot. Moving through these 'rough waters' you might see yourself hanging onto a post & out of the train. With a constant 'push-pull' you do squeeze yourself back inside, like last ounce of stuffing going inside a turkey. Hand and forearm muscles are constantly active holding onto the support clips, more like bats hanging upside down on a tree but no wings, if you slip; its a kill!!
Everyday, you have guy sticking his weirdly aromatic head into your nose and sometimes even rubbing it on your clothes, unknowingly- unintentionally, for once you forget all your problems & wonder how clean the guy is who standing next to you and what disease he might have. Like it or not 20% of the people are like pink flamingos, doing the one leg stance, 10% of the people are like Michelangelo's Adam, hanging with there arm in one direction and their body in the other, trying to avoid sights & smells. The rest 70% just occupy there space in the universe, and in the train, as biscuits closely packed inside a packet. For all the sights, smells and sounds, I keep telling myself, "We are just men and men is what we are". You finish the journey of travelling inside a hot case and here comes a big wave again: for the weak and first timers be ready to lose your spectacles, pens & any other loosely hanging appendages. The scene looks like a wild stampede and it is. You normally see one or two people toppling over, while no one assists them up but jumps them. After the quick tackles and dodges you reach ground zero again, to start walking, yet again, with a million other people.
This is the 2nd Class train commute! This is Bombay! This is not for the weak!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Micturition Sympatheticosis - The uncontrollable urge
Train travel can be such a labor and that too through Rajasthan can give you a nasal congestion or even a DVT for that matter (when you are supine, that is). Try to move on the tangential floor and you drift, drift to collide with the girl across the walkway. She stares icebergs at you, I excuse myself "Damn this train!". But she 'knows' you did it intentionally ("No, I didn't!!")
You keep walking towards the final destination. The door is locked. You stand near the wash basin, look at your macho self and imagine how would you look with a french bread ("Weird!!")
The pressure around the lower abdomen intensifies as another 25 ml of mineral rich fluid gets added from the glomerular filtrate to the bladder, making the total more than 400 ml. The brain receives an impulse through the autonomic afferents, in a split second, another impulse travels downward to the detrusor muscle to relax & micturate (the technical term to throw urine out when the environment is welcoming). But the guy is busy smoking cigarettes in one toilet and Ms. Someone, whom I gave the way on the door out of good manners, is occupying the evacuation cell no. 2. I curl my leg across my abdomen & then the other one, shifting balance and squeezing the muscles in the lower abdomen and pelvic floor are assisting me, but not for long. The kidneys seem to be working overtime, thanks to me, who was worried not to dehydrate, has over hydrated himself. I think another 10 ml just came in when I was recalling what happened during the past 5 hrs. Just then, the guy comes out of the 'Indian style' he is walking like the Jack and the Beanstalk giant. On his face is he look "I have conquered Egypt" ("But why Egypt?!! I don't know!! Let me Piss!!") I brush past him to reach the choke dungeon, put all the 3 locks on the rickety door. I let the huge flow out like the river Nile. Here is to the conquered Egypt "River Nile runs from here.. Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Shissshhhh! I think I corroded some metal on the commode. Suddenly, the noxious smell starts growing stronger, mixed with smoke it is like poisonous gas. I feel like Batman, trying to get out of Joker's devious trap, I hear Batman theme playing in the background. My hand slips on the first lock, another try, I 'cluck' open it, my olfactory bulbs are on fire and my brain is switching off. Snap! I forgot my Bat safety mask back at the Mansion, the Batman theme goes louder and shifts an octave higher, I gather my Bat sense and quickly open unlock no. 2 and lock no. 3. I come out breathless with a loud stridor, I open the exit door, stick my head out of the moving train and gasp for fresh air ("I can breathe!! I can breathe!!"). Its picturesque. After 10 deep breaths, I come inside ("I think I coughed out something green"). I am still shaking my head to shrug it off, as I wash my hands. I enter the chair car door. I go past the 'iceberg' girl, smiling at me (I wonder Hmmmm...) I look back at her, she chuckles, I smile to myself ("I am sexy!"). I walk further towards 0038, G8. On the right side I see "The self-proclaimed king of Egypt" sitting fat on his 'throne' smiling like a 'Joker'. In my mind I say, "Aye yo! I am the guy who runs river Nile and you run the killer gas chamber. You.... You.. Joker-wanna-be-king!"
He smiles harder and gives me the eyebrow. I go past him. I come and sit with the people at 0033-0040. They are discussing something, they stop, the guys sitting in front laugh suddenly. I don't know why. I look towards the left, the guy on the right laughs. I look at him, the guy on the left laughs. I look straight, everyone laughs. I ask them "What happened?". The guy sitting in front says "Are you wearing a blue underwear?" My head tilts downward in slow motion ("Yes, its blue.."). They laugh again. I jump to stand and zip it. I see an open handbag lying there, I zip it. An unzipped suit case, I zip it. The guy on the left wearing a track suit, I zip it!
At that point it all came back to me in the blink on an eye, bits and pieces, flashes. The chuckling iceberg, the smiling king and the laughing train mates. It all made sense. All bad credit to me drinking gallons of water, the tilting train and the Joker. On the flip side, thanks to these universal factors, its now that I understand the sensitive and intimate relationship between men & zippers. For opening them is as important as closing them is as important as opening them..
You keep walking towards the final destination. The door is locked. You stand near the wash basin, look at your macho self and imagine how would you look with a french bread ("Weird!!")
The pressure around the lower abdomen intensifies as another 25 ml of mineral rich fluid gets added from the glomerular filtrate to the bladder, making the total more than 400 ml. The brain receives an impulse through the autonomic afferents, in a split second, another impulse travels downward to the detrusor muscle to relax & micturate (the technical term to throw urine out when the environment is welcoming). But the guy is busy smoking cigarettes in one toilet and Ms. Someone, whom I gave the way on the door out of good manners, is occupying the evacuation cell no. 2. I curl my leg across my abdomen & then the other one, shifting balance and squeezing the muscles in the lower abdomen and pelvic floor are assisting me, but not for long. The kidneys seem to be working overtime, thanks to me, who was worried not to dehydrate, has over hydrated himself. I think another 10 ml just came in when I was recalling what happened during the past 5 hrs. Just then, the guy comes out of the 'Indian style' he is walking like the Jack and the Beanstalk giant. On his face is he look "I have conquered Egypt" ("But why Egypt?!! I don't know!! Let me Piss!!") I brush past him to reach the choke dungeon, put all the 3 locks on the rickety door. I let the huge flow out like the river Nile. Here is to the conquered Egypt "River Nile runs from here.. Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Shissshhhh! I think I corroded some metal on the commode. Suddenly, the noxious smell starts growing stronger, mixed with smoke it is like poisonous gas. I feel like Batman, trying to get out of Joker's devious trap, I hear Batman theme playing in the background. My hand slips on the first lock, another try, I 'cluck' open it, my olfactory bulbs are on fire and my brain is switching off. Snap! I forgot my Bat safety mask back at the Mansion, the Batman theme goes louder and shifts an octave higher, I gather my Bat sense and quickly open unlock no. 2 and lock no. 3. I come out breathless with a loud stridor, I open the exit door, stick my head out of the moving train and gasp for fresh air ("I can breathe!! I can breathe!!"). Its picturesque. After 10 deep breaths, I come inside ("I think I coughed out something green"). I am still shaking my head to shrug it off, as I wash my hands. I enter the chair car door. I go past the 'iceberg' girl, smiling at me (I wonder Hmmmm...) I look back at her, she chuckles, I smile to myself ("I am sexy!"). I walk further towards 0038, G8. On the right side I see "The self-proclaimed king of Egypt" sitting fat on his 'throne' smiling like a 'Joker'. In my mind I say, "Aye yo! I am the guy who runs river Nile and you run the killer gas chamber. You.... You.. Joker-wanna-be-king!"
He smiles harder and gives me the eyebrow. I go past him. I come and sit with the people at 0033-0040. They are discussing something, they stop, the guys sitting in front laugh suddenly. I don't know why. I look towards the left, the guy on the right laughs. I look at him, the guy on the left laughs. I look straight, everyone laughs. I ask them "What happened?". The guy sitting in front says "Are you wearing a blue underwear?" My head tilts downward in slow motion ("Yes, its blue.."). They laugh again. I jump to stand and zip it. I see an open handbag lying there, I zip it. An unzipped suit case, I zip it. The guy on the left wearing a track suit, I zip it!
At that point it all came back to me in the blink on an eye, bits and pieces, flashes. The chuckling iceberg, the smiling king and the laughing train mates. It all made sense. All bad credit to me drinking gallons of water, the tilting train and the Joker. On the flip side, thanks to these universal factors, its now that I understand the sensitive and intimate relationship between men & zippers. For opening them is as important as closing them is as important as opening them..
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