Micturition Sympatheticosis - The uncontrollable urge

Train travel can be such a labor and that too through Rajasthan can give you a nasal congestion or even a DVT for that matter (when you are supine, that is). Try to move on the tangential floor and you drift, drift to collide with the girl across the walkway. She stares icebergs at you, I excuse myself "Damn this train!". But she 'knows' you did it intentionally ("No, I didn't!!")
You keep walking towards the final destination. The door is locked. You stand near the wash basin, look at your macho self and imagine how would you look with a french bread ("Weird!!")
The pressure around the lower abdomen intensifies as another 25 ml of mineral rich fluid gets added from the glomerular filtrate to the bladder, making the total more than 400 ml. The brain receives an impulse through the autonomic afferents, in a split second, another impulse travels downward to the detrusor muscle to relax & micturate (the technical term to throw urine out when the environment is welcoming). But the guy is busy smoking cigarettes in one toilet and Ms. Someone, whom I gave the way on the door out of good manners, is occupying the evacuation cell no. 2. I curl my leg across my abdomen & then the other one, shifting balance and squeezing the muscles in the lower abdomen and pelvic floor are assisting me, but not for long. The kidneys seem to be working overtime, thanks to me, who was worried not to dehydrate, has over hydrated himself. I think another 10 ml just came in when I was recalling what happened during the past 5 hrs. Just then, the guy comes out of the 'Indian style' he is walking like the Jack and the Beanstalk giant. On his face is he look "I have conquered Egypt" ("But why Egypt?!! I don't know!! Let me Piss!!") I brush past him to reach the choke dungeon, put all the 3 locks on the rickety door. I let the huge flow out like the river Nile. Here is to the conquered Egypt "River Nile runs from here.. Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Shissshhhh! I think I corroded some metal on the commode. Suddenly, the noxious smell starts growing stronger, mixed with smoke it is like poisonous gas. I feel like Batman, trying to get out of Joker's devious trap, I hear Batman theme playing in the background. My hand slips on the first lock, another try, I 'cluck' open it, my olfactory bulbs are on fire and my brain is switching off. Snap! I forgot my Bat safety mask back at the Mansion, the Batman theme goes louder and shifts an octave higher, I gather my Bat sense and quickly open unlock no. 2 and lock no. 3. I come out breathless with a loud stridor, I open the exit door, stick my head out of the moving train and gasp for fresh air ("I can breathe!! I can breathe!!"). Its picturesque. After 10 deep breaths, I come inside ("I think I coughed out something green"). I am still shaking my head to shrug it off, as I wash my hands. I enter the chair car door. I go past the 'iceberg' girl, smiling at me (I wonder Hmmmm...) I look back at her, she chuckles, I smile to myself ("I am sexy!"). I walk further towards 0038, G8. On the right side I see "The self-proclaimed king of Egypt" sitting fat on his 'throne' smiling like a 'Joker'. In my mind I say, "Aye yo! I am the guy who runs river Nile and you run the killer gas chamber. You.... You.. Joker-wanna-be-king!"
He smiles harder and gives me the eyebrow. I go past him. I come and sit with the people at 0033-0040. They are discussing something, they stop, the guys sitting in front laugh suddenly. I don't know why. I look towards the left, the guy on the right laughs. I look at him, the guy on the left laughs. I look straight, everyone laughs. I ask them "What happened?". The guy sitting in front says "Are you wearing a blue underwear?" My head tilts downward in slow motion ("Yes, its blue.."). They laugh again. I jump to stand and zip it. I see an open handbag lying there, I zip it. An unzipped suit case, I zip it. The guy on the left wearing a track suit, I zip it!
At that point it all came back to me in the blink on an eye, bits and pieces, flashes. The chuckling iceberg, the smiling king and the laughing train mates. It all made sense. All bad credit to me drinking gallons of water, the tilting train and the Joker. On the flip side, thanks to these universal factors, its now that I understand the sensitive and intimate relationship between men & zippers. For opening them is as important as closing them is as important as opening them..